HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
