hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
