Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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