you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
