Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
