i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize