I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize