I got chris browned last night
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
