Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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