I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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