I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
COCAINE IS GR8
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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