Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
