nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
