A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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