How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
