Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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