Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
we should paint friendship bongs
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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