U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
