I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
