I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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