someone threw a dead crab at me
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
