Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
