Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
