I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
