I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
how do flat chested girls get laid?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
