I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
