Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize