did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just high enough for therapy.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
