Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
