On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
