Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hell yes lets make some ravioli
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
