I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I look better un-naked...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
