they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
