Me. At least after what I've been through.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
