trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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