i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
