My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
