The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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