apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize