I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
