some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
