Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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