I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
