dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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