I haven't been this sober since birth.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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