You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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