Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
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