I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
