I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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