there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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