when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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