Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Bring me that man meat
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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