You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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