She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
