No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Vodka?
Forever.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
