The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
