I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
