I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
