My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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