How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
