Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize