I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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