whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
