We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
