i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
