Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
