I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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