Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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