Those balls look pretty dangerous.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
