I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
