i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
